So I’ve told you lots about the nice things of KBR: the food, the people, the diving, the facilities, the dive guides, the critters, the dive manager, the pool, the spa, the gardens, the warm welcome, the cold beer, the hot showers, the camera facilities, Walt the Trumpetfish, our house reef, my yellow Crocs, the fast boats, the warm seas, the blue skies, the tomato soup, my espresso maker, the post-dive fruit.
BUT: I have only hinted before at the scary side. The dark side; the part of life that you don’t want to waken; Darth Vader; that lurking sense of dread; the shadow behind the door; the Jaws music in your ears; the sense of being followed: The Six Sins of the Straits:
Sin 1: Mr Grumpy. Being grumpy when you have all the items at para 1 above. Don’t be grumpy at KBR. Be happy! A crummy day at KBR is waaaaay better than a great day at the office (unless the office is my office). Don’t travel with Mr Grumpy.
Sin 2: Critter Hog: yes, we all want The Perfect Shot of the pygmy seahorse. But, hey, after you with the bath water, Clarence! Let your buddies get a look in too. And don’t, just don’t, flick up the sand when you’re finally leaving the scene. Grrrrrrr. Wars have started over less. Don’t be a Critter Hog
Sin 3: Meet Gerroff. Lying on the reef: OMG. Let me introduce you to Gerrof. We have loads of comfy loungers and beds. Darn it, if it helps we will willingly drag/carry a lounger wherever you’d like it: the jetty, the pool, your patio – Bitung. Just don’t lounge on the reef. You’re down there to have great fun, see stuff, photo stuff. Its not a rest camp. You’re not on holiday to lounge around. Are you? Gerrof the Reef!
Sin 4: Tim’s Tribute. Sucking your tank dry. Yes, its true, you pay for all the air – or Nitrox – in the tank. So you might as well use it, right? Yes you can. But the last 30 bar is mine. And I want to keep it. So go on, be kind, leave Tim’s Tribute: 30 bar ain’t much to ask for.
Sin 5: Half-Time Wave: “I ran out of air. The Dive Guide didn’t make sure I didn’t run out”. And I bet he didn’t tell you to go wee-wees before you dived either, did he? Please God, tell me he didn’t. Tell your Dive Guide when you’re down to half a tank. That gives him more than a fighting chance of getting you back without sucking a vacuum. Call it the Half-Time Wave.
Sin 6: No Seeum. Not telling us what you want to see – and then moaning that you didn’t see it. Go on, challenge us! The guides love a challenge. Mimic octopus: yawn. Pygmy seahorse: puleez. Blue-ring octopus: ohho, good one….. whale shark: darn, you should have been here yesterday…… Don’t be a No Seeum
And that’s it. Easy to do, simple to follow – and guaranteed to keep a song in your heart and a smile on your face. Actually its more guaranteed to keep a song in my heart and a smile on my face. Maybe even a bluebird on my shoulder. Zippety-doo-dah.
Here endeth the lesson. Got thoughts on all of this? Go on, make my day – tell me……
And because you’ve all been good, here’s today’s picture. Shot at Nudi Falls – one of my favourite sites.