KBR's new deck tennis court

The Jetty: folks who have been to KBR over the last few months will have spotted that the jetty was in pretty bad shape. A couple of weeks ago one poor guest did more than actually spot the poor state: her foot went through it. Repairs have been in the pipeline for some months… and, now, taraaah, [queue trumpet fanfare] the floating jetty has been rebuilt: and is a-gleam, yes, a-gleam, with new planks, fresh paint work, stanchions for the ropes, a new bridge….. it looks great. Its so tempting to use the new surface for sporting purposes. Tennis anyone.

Work on the main jetty will start in the near future.

So what has that got to do with neither Shaken Nor Stirred? Nothing. But a gentle reminder, dear future guests: DO please let us know when you are low on air: let us know at 100 bar (1500 psi) and again at 50 bar (750 psi). Twice in the last few days I have had to do an alternate air ascent with a guest. Neither was in the least bit phased and continued to spot nudibrancs while happily sucking away on my octopus (ok, get the smutty sniggers over with). Well fair play, and of course with my legendary English cool, calm sang-froid I was neither shaken nor stirred. But twice in two days? Do remember the golden rule: surface happily by the boat with 30 bar and tell the dive guide when you are down to 100Bar/1500psi or 750psi/50bar. You know it makes sense. And it keeps me young, vibrant, vital and wrinkle free.

Its been a picture perfect day here at KBR: gentle breeze, barely a ripple on the water, blue skies – lots of guests, a real buzz about the place. KBR at its best.

Last night we had a lot of arrivals: from Spain, from Russia, from the Ukraine – and
the UK. After two months working here I’m used to giving the dive briefing for guests. Its fun, I get to know the guests, learn their names, make them feel welcome (hopefully!). Sometimes the jokes and bons mots work – sometimes they don’t. Who’d be a stand-up comic?  But its always a challenge when there are an awful lot of blank looks from the newly arrived guests. Is it my accent? Am I speaking too fast? I should have put my years of diplomatic life to better use and learned a bunch more languages!

But no matter where guests come from, once they are underwater the reaction is always the same: fascination and delight. Who needs a language underwater to explain the delight at seeing a pygmy seahorse for the first time or, our latest discovery, pygmy sea dragons. “Wow” translates into most languages effortlessly.

So check out the little guy below. Wow, eh?

KBR: speaking the international language of Wow.

Have you done one of those dives where it all comes together perfectly: the weather, the calm sea, the sunshine, the dive site, the critters, the coral, the visibility, the sun dappling down to 30m? I had one yesterday on Angel’s Window. Never was a dive site so aptly named. WOWEEEE.

A beautiful day: 30 degrees, slight breeze, small waves: Angel’s Window is known by our dive guides as the GBR – the Great Big Rock. Its a pinnacle at the north-east side of the Strait. The top is 5m below the surface. The bottom drops down to 30m or so. I’m not especially fond of deep diving – but with the water crystal clear and the sun streaming down, drifting effortlessly down to 30m was just sublime. The site has a swim-through at 25m, fan corals at the entrance and filled with light. Coming out the other end into sunlight were waves of fish going about their day. We found a recently discovered pygmy seahorse – a Ponthoi – on a fan; and then a superb ornate ghost pipefish. Corals, crinoids and fans were all over the walls of the pinnacle as we slowly made our way around and up. Every turn offered a better spectacle.

Everyone came up from the dive excited and enthused. It was just one of those dives on just one of those days.

In the St Crispin’s Day battle speech, Shakespeare wrote, “and gentlemen in England now-a-bed Shall think themselves accurs’d they were not here. We few, we happy few, we band of brothers.” We were there. It was not St Crispin’s Day and, thankfully, there was no battling involved. But, mercy, what a day it was. I would not have missed that for anything.

KBR: experiencing the best that diving has to offer

PS: St Crispin’s Day, for the curious, is 25 October. Even if you’re not curious its 25 October

Its always satisfying to do a dive when the number in your logboook ends in 00. Some divers give up logging their dives after qualifying. Some, the more anal ones like me, keep on loggin’. There is something about flipping through a logbook on a cold, wet wintery day that brings memories flooding back. Its amazing just how much scribbled notes in your log book can bring back the images and sounds of a dive. “Great dive. Saw bg one”. God knows what it was…. but somehow it brings whatever “bg one” was back to life.

I clocked up dive 1100 today. Not a massive number by some divers’ standards, but still a fair old haul. It was a cracking dive too: great viz, and I saw a “bg one”. It was on Police Pier 2 – banggai cardinalfish carrying their young in their mouths. How cool is that. The water was 29 degrees and it was flat calm. Wow.

And we had just done the Mawali Wreck dive. I’m not much of a wreck diver, but if you are looking for a change from muck dives, Mawali is the business. A huge wreck lying on its side in about 30m. Covered in marine life of every kind – and, this being Lembeh, there is even a fan coral with a yellow pygmy seahorse on it. Can diving get any better?

So, if you are heading towards a double-oh dive, think of somewhere specal to make it. Think KBR.

One of the nicest things one of the guests has said whilst I’ve been here is that visiting KBR is like “coming home”. Its friendly, comfortable, cosy – and you are amongst friends. Well, yes, not all families are like that. But let’s for the moment see life as a sort of Leave It To Beaver, Happy Days ideal. Its much nicer than Frontline.

The KBR Family came home to me yesterday with a phone call from one of our staff to say the mother of two of the dive team, mother-in-law to a third, aunt to several, had died. One sad event hit so many of our family. As is the tradition in this part of the world, we went to pay our respects and to view the body. It was moving to see so many of our team, usually laughing and joking with the guests, looking so downcast.

Jumping back in the water a little later with guests at Hairball 2 reminded me of the huge contrasts that life can offer within a very short space of time. Very unusually for Lembeh, a large eagle ray glided by and, after taking a long look at us, took off for the depths. Wow. Seeing the beauty underwater makes you appreciate the good things – the fun times, the smiles. And the things we all share as a family.

Come home to KBR: we’re all family here: Happy Days anyone?

Mermaids, KBR and food

OK, here’s a little challenge for you to ponder over…… how do you construct a sentence that has the words “KBR”, “Mermaid” and “Food” in it?

How about this: “I have just watched the KBR (tick) restaurant staff, who serve our yummy, freshly-cooked, hot food (tick), be taught how to snorkel by some of the dive team. This is the nearest thing I have seen to mermaids (tick)”

Yes, we are a little quieter than usual with only 2 of our three boats heading out today. This is the first slight lull we have had since I arrived. So we are doing maintenance – improving the navigation lights and electrics on the boat; building a snorkel park (more on this soon); and doing what we can to make sure all the KBR staff understand why guests want to come here and dive. So we thought a good start would be taking the lovely girls from the restaurant snorkelling….

Food service will never be quite the same again.

Nasi Goreng anyone?

KBR: putting the fun back into life.

I’m sure you’ve seen the movie and may well have read the book, All Quiet on the Western Front. Erich Maria Remarque, a German veteran of World War I, tells of the deep detachment from German civilian life felt by many men returning from the front. Its very sobering.

Without diminishing the horrors that the WW1 generation experienced, fast forward 90-some years to KBR. As Jacques Cousteau would have said in that delightfully syrupy French accent of his: “On ze rrheefs, we barhe weetness to ze ehternal strogel bhatweehn ze crreatures ov ze maahreen enveernonmen. For zehm, it iz a matterr ov layf and dess. (OK, yes, I know, its hard to read: its even harder to write. But try saying it in a sort of Inspector Clouseau accent. “Iz zis year minkeey?” Go on, give it a go You’ll be doing Clouseau impression all day now. Hehe)

Its hard when you are at KBR not to become detached from the Real World. You sleep, you eat and you dive. The time underwater is amazing: you see life and death, murder, mayhem and sex. New species, new things to see, new dive experiences – and new friends to discuss what you’ve seen: on the boat – back at the Dive Centre. And then there are our post-dive cookies and hot chocolate…

Its all quiet on this western front. Except for the sound of bubbles….

And today’s photo:check out these Banggai Cardinalfish as zay batul ze ehternal strogel for serviful.

So I’ve told you lots about the nice things of KBR: the food, the people, the diving, the facilities, the dive guides, the critters, the dive manager, the pool, the spa, the gardens, the warm welcome, the cold beer, the hot showers, the camera facilities, Walt the Trumpetfish, our house reef, my yellow Crocs, the fast boats, the warm seas, the blue skies, the tomato soup, my espresso maker, the post-dive fruit.

BUT: I have only hinted before at the scary side. The dark side; the part of life that you don’t want to waken; Darth Vader; that lurking sense of dread; the shadow behind the door; the Jaws music in your ears; the sense of being followed: The Six Sins of the Straits:

Sin 1: Mr Grumpy. Being grumpy when you have all the items at para 1 above. Don’t be grumpy at KBR. Be happy! A crummy day at KBR is waaaaay better than a great day at the office (unless the office is my office). Don’t travel with Mr Grumpy.

Sin 2: Critter Hog: yes, we all want The Perfect Shot of the pygmy seahorse. But, hey, after you with the bath water, Clarence! Let your buddies get a look in too. And don’t, just don’t, flick up the sand when you’re finally leaving the scene. Grrrrrrr. Wars have started over less. Don’t be a Critter Hog

Sin 3: Meet Gerroff. Lying on the reef: OMG. Let me introduce you to Gerrof. We have loads of comfy loungers and beds. Darn it, if it helps we will willingly drag/carry a lounger wherever you’d like it: the jetty, the pool, your patio – Bitung.  Just don’t lounge on the reef. You’re down there to have great fun, see stuff, photo stuff. Its not a rest camp. You’re not on holiday to lounge around. Are you? Gerrof the Reef!

Sin 4: Tim’s Tribute. Sucking your tank dry. Yes, its true, you pay for all the air – or Nitrox – in the tank. So you might as well use it, right? Yes you can. But the last 30 bar is mine. And I want to keep it.  So go on, be kind, leave Tim’s Tribute: 30 bar ain’t much to ask for.

Sin 5: Half-Time Wave: “I ran out of air. The Dive Guide didn’t make sure I didn’t run out”. And I bet he didn’t tell you to go wee-wees before you dived either, did he? Please God, tell me he didn’t. Tell your Dive Guide when you’re down to half a tank. That gives him more than a fighting chance of getting you back without sucking a vacuum. Call it the Half-Time Wave.

And finally:

Sin 6: No Seeum. Not telling us what you want to see – and then moaning that you didn’t see it. Go on, challenge us! The guides love a challenge. Mimic octopus: yawn. Pygmy seahorse: puleez. Blue-ring octopus: ohho, good one….. whale shark: darn, you should have been here yesterday…… Don’t be a No Seeum

And that’s it. Easy to do, simple to follow – and guaranteed to keep a song in your heart and a smile on your face. Actually its more guaranteed to keep a song in my heart and a smile on my face. Maybe even a bluebird on my shoulder. Zippety-doo-dah.

Here endeth the lesson. Got thoughts on all of this? Go on, make my day – tell me……

And because you’ve all been good, here’s today’s picture. Shot at Nudi Falls – one of my favourite sites.